I have made many concessions to this whole Twilight franchise of yours. I devoted my attention to an admittedly entertaining but mostly ludicrous four-book saga. I sat and suffered through 120 minutes of your sparkletwink and sequoia trees. I am giving your cinematic sequel the benefit of the doubt, and have reluctantly vocalized my interest in seeing it. I even professed out loud my belief that you were hot - despite the ever-growing wave of dubious sentiment concerning the matter. But this - this I cannot take, Mr. Pattinwhoey. You simply lose all credibility when you show up in Vanity Fair, trying to look sexy and smoldering, when clearly the wind has just knocked you out from under your piano bench. Not even Edward Cullen looks good when a boatload of Jäger drives him to play the Moonlight Sonata with his god damned feet.
Game. Over.
Respectfully,
Katelyn Reilly Lahr
3 comments:
I have an unopened copy of the Twilight soundtrack that I need to give you. On it, you can listen to something even more unforgivable than this photo spread: him signing and playing the guitar on a song he wrote called "Never Think."
Sounds like "An Instructional Diddy on How To Photograph Like Robert Pattinson."
um. please peep this shit:
http://q102.elvisduran.com/pages/p2article.html?feed=136656&article=6258680
second picture down. no one, and i repeat, NO ONE, looks sexy in a lobster bib.
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