A priest.
If you had one thousand dollars, what would you buy?
150 12-packs of either Diet Coke or Bud Light.
What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
Rum and diet. Or Christian Bale. I can't remember.
Where were you last night around 9:30?
Your mother's Hyundai Elantra.
How was the last egg you prepared?
Fertilized. ZING. (actually - that's gross)
Last song you listened to?
"Lovestoned"
Are you a forgiving person?
Yes. Provided there's a monetary supplement involved.
Last thing you drank?
The sweet nectar of the fountain of youth.
What is your current mood?
Drunky Malunkies.
What do you hear right now?
"Summer Love" (an ode to the only acquaintance of mine for whom I'd switch teams: AMYTANG)
Are you sarcastic?
....
Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Hellz yeah. How else would we learn? I mean get laid?
What do you do when you have a bad day?
A case, all by myself.
Pick a word that begins with the first letter of your first name?
Kangaroo bop.
How many states have you lived in?
Two. Unless you count the state of misunderstanding
Have you ever caught anything on fire?
My house maybe?
(I think this question means to ask have you ever SET anything else on fire, to which my answer would be "half the panties in Manhattan")
How long is your hair when it's wet?
That's what she said.
How many bathrooms are in your house?
Porto potties all the way, m'friend.
What was the last thing you took a bite of?
How wrong would it be to make two "your mom" jokes in one survey?
Do you drink soda?
Only if it's chased by a hearty glass of Bacardi.
What are you thinking about right now?
Dollas.
Have you ever been on an airplane?
A what?
Marriage in your future?
Who's askin?
Do you like your life?
Considering I was just violently ejected from from Slackoffwhileyourparentspay University. No, not at the moment.
Do you know anyone whose name starts with a Z?
Only this Mayor of Fox City.
Have you kissed in the rain?
Yeah, but I was compensated handsomely for it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Tons of hot women. And maybe some Text Twist.
When is your birthday?
TODAY. Plz 2 hav caek?
Whats your favorite drink?
I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens.
Do you have a job?
I don't want no scrubs. But seriously, only until I find a nice manz to pay for my addictions.
Do you like to read?
I read women like I read books.
Are you a nerd at heart?
Maybe in bed because I can never seem to stop giggling nervously.
What music do you listen to?
Same shit as the stuff to which I was conceived, I'm sure.
(I think this question means to ask have you ever SET anything else on fire, to which my answer would be "half the panties in Manhattan")
How long is your hair when it's wet?
That's what she said.
How many bathrooms are in your house?
Porto potties all the way, m'friend.
What was the last thing you took a bite of?
How wrong would it be to make two "your mom" jokes in one survey?
Do you drink soda?
Only if it's chased by a hearty glass of Bacardi.
What are you thinking about right now?
Dollas.
Have you ever been on an airplane?
A what?
Marriage in your future?
Who's askin?
Do you like your life?
Considering I was just violently ejected from from Slackoffwhileyourparentspay University. No, not at the moment.
Do you know anyone whose name starts with a Z?
Only this Mayor of Fox City.
Have you kissed in the rain?
Yeah, but I was compensated handsomely for it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Tons of hot women. And maybe some Text Twist.
When is your birthday?
TODAY. Plz 2 hav caek?
Whats your favorite drink?
I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens.
Do you have a job?
I don't want no scrubs. But seriously, only until I find a nice manz to pay for my addictions.
Do you like to read?
I read women like I read books.
Are you a nerd at heart?
Maybe in bed because I can never seem to stop giggling nervously.
What music do you listen to?
Same shit as the stuff to which I was conceived, I'm sure.
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