Holy shet!
My favorite VH1 commentator - or maybe the best talking head in the history of anything in the universe - Michael Ian Black, has challenged Tucker Max to a deathmatch. And in true (drunken) alpha male form, Tucker has heartily risen to the bait. Hurrah. My money's on Tucker, because he is like five times the size of Black with ten times the wired adrenaline, but Michael Ian Black does have that advantage of, you know, fully functional nerve endings and is like, a whole immune system ahead.
Michael Ian Black, by the by, is some hot ass shit right now. Not only because he's the only one worth watching on VH1's new nostalgia fest I Love the New Millennium, but also because he's June's Hot Slut of the Month on Dlisted. I'd post a video of him being filarious on VH1, but that's tired. Here he is in the greatest cinematic tour de force that God ever had the mercy to bestow upon mankind, Wet Hot American Summer:
UPDATE: Michael Ian Black roars with excitement! Tucker responds, "I assume that he is kidding about this. I am not at all. Once he realizes I am completely serious and that this means he is going to get punched in the face, I doubt he'll be as eager as he is now."
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There really are no words for how much I hate Tucker Max and his stupid book. Additionally, Gary (of Gaydriana fame) and I were talking once about how he wanted to be a writer and he said that he wanted to start a blog and write a book much in the same style as Tucker Max, except better. If I didn't just get up and walk out of the room, I must have been too stoned and lazy to do so, cause seriously that's some whack shit.
Also! My favorite Michael Ian Black quote, ever, is from one episode of I love the 90s when he's commenting on the Wonderbra and how duped he felt when he would be hooking up with girls who he thought were totally stacked only to realize that they had "mosquito bites." It went something like this:
So she says, what, you don't like me for who I am?
And I say, hell no, I just wanted to titty fuck you and cum on your clavicle.
I've never laughed so hard in me life. Do I win an award for longest comment ever?
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