Read it!

You guys! Today I started my Project Fattylegs. Please follow it on Parvin's blog!

I love you. :)

Biggest Loser

Parvin and I have joined awesome forces, and by that I mean the awesome force of Parvin has asked me to write an entry for her awesome force of a blog. It's actually going to be the greatest column in the world, wherein I document a rigorous and committed weight-loss regimen. Please follow it, because this time I intend to take it incredibly seriously (which means you need to stop expecting me to get drunk with you... MOM!) and your attention and enthusiasm is 80% of my motivation. Also, Parvin is the best blogger ever, so there's even more in it for you when you read her endearing posts.

Do it, fucker, or monsters will eat your brains.

Dear Robert Pattinson,

I have made many concessions to this whole Twilight franchise of yours. I devoted my attention to an admittedly entertaining but mostly ludicrous four-book saga. I sat and suffered through 120 minutes of your sparkletwink and sequoia trees. I am giving your cinematic sequel the benefit of the doubt, and have reluctantly vocalized my interest in seeing it. I even professed out loud my belief that you were hot - despite the ever-growing wave of dubious sentiment concerning the matter. But this - this I cannot take, Mr. Pattinwhoey. You simply lose all credibility when you show up in Vanity Fair, trying to look sexy and smoldering, when clearly the wind has just knocked you out from under your piano bench. Not even Edward Cullen looks good when a boatload of Jäger drives him to play the Moonlight Sonata with his god damned feet.

Game. Over.

Respectfully,

Katelyn Reilly Lahr

WHAT! IS! THIS!

It's the holiday spirit, I tell ya! Living in New York is supreme, in my opinion, because every holiday feels like a thousand million appeals for celebration. Or maybe it's just that Ann Reilly is my mother and I feel like EVERY DAY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THEMED DAY EVER OMG when a holiday strikes. Anyways. I cuddled down tonight around 2/3/4/7pm/daylight endings time whatever! tonight to watch a true masterpiece, The Nightmare Before Christmas. To those idiots of you not in the know, it's on YouTube, and it's great! And I just. Sigh. I just want to applaud humanity - - - for having enough holidays to fulfill a HOLIDAY LAND. Seriously! We have THAT MUCH to celebrate. That's all.

What's more than all is I love this time of year. Let's gets effin CHRISTMASY.