Blinky recap numero dos!

Ah. Everything has come full circle, and the status quo of Housewife Law is in its place (namely, the island of Manhattan). Meaning that this episode was another enthralling chapter in the bildungsroman that is Ramona Singer's life. Ramona was once, twice, three times awesome, and for this ep at least, the stah of the show. First - when she basked in the pool of money, margaritas, and Mario that was her Hamptons estate (which the editors juxtaposed oh so keenly to play right before we saw Silex chill out in THE INFLATABLE POOL THAT THEY BRAGGED ABOUT in their shitty Brooklyn backyard surrounded by concrete and a wire fence and a dilapidated tenement). Second when she actually doled out reasonable dating advice to Bethenny, which the vile LuAnn promptly took as an opportunity to lunge at Ramona's jugular. Thirdly, when Ramona drunkenly bopped at Bethenny's Social Life Hamptons party (if I were Rich here is where I'd insert a gif of the drunken bopping). No wonder she is the only Housewife the ever evasive Kelly agrees to hang out with. Don't let any hater take you down, Ramona. Yes, You Can.

On the other end of this Knickerbocker smorgasbord there was LuAnn, who slipped so far back in to her traditionally lofty Countess milieu that my respect for human kind broke out in hives. At the Hope Lodge, which LuAnn sort of treats like a shrine or a temple or something (since Philanthropy is the official religion of bullshit New York Page Sixers), LuAnn immediately started shrieking about how rude Ramona was to suggest that the Count was an "old man." (Which Ramona didn't - just sayin.) The entire scenario was like watching a drunk Republican Senator kicking a puppy. But how dare Ramona call Count Alex old! To LuAnn's face! In a charity kitchen! In front of the Count-let (who sat their dutifully nodding)! The sheer gall just sent LuAnn on an epileptic tirade, and wouldn't it just. By the way LuAnn, 15 years is a big age difference no matter how old you are. But just for your piece of mind, the fact that you so shrilly retaliated to an innocent comment is in no way indicative of the obvious fact that you and the Count are totally not having sex. Nope, not at all. None.

Oh, then LuAnn sat and scoffed at how hurt and upset Bethenny was at lunch. After LuAnn started singing about retouching Bethenny's Social Life cover instead of congratulating her. I know, LuAnn, some people just really can't let bygones be nonroyal bygones, huh?

Bling!